A humorous online book.
For entertainment purposes only.

Chapters
Cover
1.   Nothing is Worse...
2.   This Book Belonged To...
3.   Preface
4.   Introduction
5.   Getting Started
6.   What are you going for?
7.   People and things to die for.
8.   Where You Go When You Go?
8a. Hell (and what to expect)
8b. Heaven (and what to expect)
8c. Reincarnation (downside)
9.   Etiquette
10. Rules of Etiquette
11. Fun 'Event' Invitations
12. Financing upgraded Services
13. Fashion (related to technique)
14. Fashion Accessories
15. Fashion Faux Pas
16. Make-Up Tips (male/female)
17. Dictating Guest & Theme Attire
18. Suicide Notes & Writing Tips
19. Suicide Note (Fill-in-the blanks)
20. Your Epitaph (Eye Catchers)
21. Will Power (yours)
22. Last Will & Testament
23. Will - Fun Stuff to Bequeath
24. Will - Creative Stipulations
25. Things you should have done
26. Your Eulogy
27. Ratings Guide to Techniques
28. Techniques (Advanced)
28a. Techniques Ratings Guide
28b. Taking the Train
28c. It's Auto-matic!
28d. Cooking with Gas
28e. Speed Kills
28f. Lightning (powerful stuff)
29. Quickies For The Poor
29a. Jay Walking
29b. For the Mountain Bike Enthusiast
29c. Freeway Skateboarding
29d. No car but have a motorcycle?
29e. Razor Blades (with practice blade)
29f. Sportsman's Special
29g. Cooking for Pacemaker Patients
29h. Dry Land Cliff Diving
29i. Jumping for Joy (and others)
29j. Going with the Wind
30. Making Your Arrangements
30a. A Wake (or Not)
30b. Location, Location, Location!
30c. Grave Marker, Head Stone, Tomb?
30d. The Ride to the Cemetery
30e. Grave Site Decorations & Souvenirs
30f.  Plot Music, Audio, Special Effects
31. If You Fail...
32. The Obituary (yours)
33. Terminology
34. Taking others with you
35. Parting words to live by
36. The Sequel

Where do you go when you go?

Before you take off, it's a good idea to think about where you may end up.

Christians believe that you go to Heaven or Hell (Heaven may be ruled out), Buddhists believe you are reincarnated (possible bummer), atheists believe you simply cease to exist (slightly more promising), and a whacko friend believes you go to a 24-hour night club where underwear is banned (doubtful).

Whatever the case, you're now probably thinking to yourself, "Hey wait a minute, what if where I'm going is worse than where I am right now?" That's the dilemma, it's pretty much a crap shoot, and certainly something to consider.

So pop your head out of the oven, take the dry cleaning bag off your head, loosen the noose, put down the shotgun, quit inhaling the carbon monoxide, stop drinking the cleaning fluid and downing the sleeping pills - or whatever else you're doing - and take a breather to review a few of the possibilities:

Read about Hell (and what to expect)