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 Will
Power (yours)
A clearly written, properly executed
will can provide you with plenty of last-minute snickers while potential causing
months or years of grief (after any initial grieving, if applicable) for family, friends, relatives, co-workers,
your ex-bosses, partners, other ex's, even neighbors and casual acquaintances.
Will Power puts you in the driver's
seat...finally.
Even if you didn't have any before, you do
now!
The purpose of a will is to guarantee that your loved (or not so loved) ones will get just
what they deserve, and that's exactly where the fun begins!
Since so much depends on your specific
objectives and situation, the best we can do here is to define a few of the
terms and concepts to inspire your thinking.
One thing is certain, a little Will Power
combined with a hefty dash of imagination can go a very long way!
Bequeathing means to pass (something) on to another; hand down, to leave or
give by will. Bequeathing typically involves personal property, but there's
no legal definition of how 'personal' that property may be, or the condition
that the property bequeathed must be in. Wow, that leaves the options wide
open!
The good news is that anyone named in a
will needs to take what they get.
Think soiled diapers, dentures, bad pets,
expired luncheon meats, maybe even your own hospital bed if things don't go
exactly as planned.
Here are just a few more thoughts...
How about going halvsies and bequeathing half of a whole? A single breast implant (new or
used), half of your estate's driveway, the
remaining half of your last ham sandwich, or arm?
Or how about just a part of a whole? The engine from your car but not the
car,
just the chimney from your house, only one of the toilets, just the hands from your Rolex
President (requires some disassembly),
just your own hands (may require some disassembly, a glass jar,
formaldehyde). See where this is headed now?
How about bequeathing items that you never owned?
The 'hidden fortune'
routine nearly guarantees senseless tooth and nail
fighting between those you left behind, and can add months or years in
probate court.
If you concoct even a fairly believable
story (and falsify just a few key documents), the probate court parking lot fees
alone can drive your successors to the poor house! You might print up some
bogus deeds, creative a treasure map, bury all your costume jewelry along
with a few of your penny collections, and make your will a treasure hunt of
sorts. Since you won't be around for questioning, you can leave a series of
will location clues in remote locations around the country, even on
different continents. It's fun to go thinking that those greedy $#@%^*%# you
truly didn't care for will expend all of their funds traipsing around the
globe, only to ultimately discover you gave every last dime to charity.
It's amazing what crazy things friends,
relatives, ex's, even co-workers and former business partners will do to get
their grubby hands on your hard-earned cash and belongings, so also don't
forget the stipulations available to you.
A stipulation is legally defined as an
agreement or concession made by parties in a judicial proceeding. Yes, wills
are judicial proceedings (upon request). Think of a stipulation as a
restriction that is insisted upon as a condition for an agreement. Hmmm,
that has possibilities!
Let's say you do have cash, and lots of it, but you want your kids to learn
the value of money without taking the easy way out (as you are). Imagine the
requirements you could stipulate. For instance, what about burying the cash
with you with a stipulation that just $10,000 can be exhumed at a time. The
dig costs about $2,500 so it's still worth it, but no dig and your kids
won't be able to get one red cent. As long as you stipulate it, it must be
done. Perhaps you add a clause that the dig must be done with spoons rather
than shovels or a backhoe. Now you're catching on.
Take care of the property and zone out.
Let's say that you own real estate and you're dying to get back
at your next door neighbor. Donate your land to the
city for a landfill, toxic waste disposal site, low-income housing, an
animal shelter, or even an amusement park (making sure that you stipulate no
other use). Regardless of zoning laws and ordnances, wills are always taken
quite seriously so this should keep the neighbors busy at City Hall, might
make the local papers, and heck, it would be fun, right?
If you're ready to draft, see Last Will & Testament
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