A humorous online book.
For entertainment purposes only.

Chapters
Cover
1.   Nothing is Worse...
2.   This Book Belonged To...
3.   Preface
4.   Introduction
5.   Getting Started
6.   What are you going for?
7.   People and things to die for.
8.   Where You Go When You Go?
8a. Hell (and what to expect)
8b. Heaven (and what to expect)
8c. Reincarnation (downside)
9.   Etiquette
10. Rules of Etiquette
11. Fun 'Event' Invitations
12. Financing upgraded Services
13. Fashion (related to technique)
14. Fashion Accessories
15. Fashion Faux Pas
16. Make-Up Tips (male/female)
17. Dictating Guest & Theme Attire
18. Suicide Notes & Writing Tips
19. Suicide Note (Fill-in-the blanks)
20. Your Epitaph (Eye Catchers)
21. Will Power (yours)
22. Last Will & Testament
23. Will - Fun Stuff to Bequeath
24. Will - Creative Stipulations
25. Things you should have done
26. Your Eulogy
27. Ratings Guide to Techniques
28. Techniques (Advanced)
28a. Techniques Ratings Guide
28b. Taking the Train
28c. It's Auto-matic!
28d. Cooking with Gas
28e. Speed Kills
28f. Lightning (powerful stuff)
29. Quickies For The Poor
29a. Jay Walking
29b. For the Mountain Bike Enthusiast
29c. Freeway Skateboarding
29d. No car but have a motorcycle?
29e. Razor Blades (with practice blade)
29f. Sportsman's Special
29g. Cooking for Pacemaker Patients
29h. Dry Land Cliff Diving
29i. Jumping for Joy (and others)
29j. Going with the Wind
30. Making Your Arrangements
30a. A Wake (or Not)
30b. Location, Location, Location!
30c. Grave Marker, Head Stone, Tomb?
30d. The Ride to the Cemetery
30e. Grave Site Decorations & Souvenirs
30f.  Plot Music, Audio, Special Effects
31. If You Fail...
32. The Obituary (yours)
33. Terminology
34. Taking others with you
35. Parting words to live by
36. The Sequel

Financing Upgraded Services

Funerals aren't cheap, and that's just for the basic pine box and a hole. Add on the extras and your costs can skyrocket!

Fancy caskets, prime burial spots, perpetual care, cremations, urns... it's enough to make your head spin and can take anyone to the poor house. Plus we haven't accounted for the services and other activities before you're underground (or on the mantel). But the high costs certainly don't mean you have to settle for second rate (before or after).

We talked about pay-per-call phone numbers (which may help), but you may also consider trying to work some sort of Pay-Per-View deal (depending on technique).

Let's assume you'll be charging a cover at the wake, and an entry fee at the gate. Depending on the crowd, that may defray some of the costs - however - not all, especially if you're planning on going all out (may as well). To maximize the crowd and the potential for income, we'll cover some exciting crowd-pleasers when we get to the 'Making the Arrangements' chapter.

For the time being, forget about the expense and see Fashion.